wordfilled_rose @ : a small piece of my collection of things
hey yall (hehe)! i'd really like to see this community like all u writers on here to like start posting on here, i wanna see what pittsburgh is made of, mentally, not just a bunch of bums (literally). i wanna see how creative this city has been made out to be. i know i just joined this group here but it dont look like no1 every posts...please?!
I'm not sure why this is, What has caused me my breath to stall and go stale
Why do I feel so tired, lonely, and ugly
Writing now is hard, my hands are so heavy and it's actually hard to think
My lips seem so dry and dull.
I feel like I could either sleep forever or run forever, to forget the world
There's no reason to live, I have nothing, no one, and I couldn't care less
Life is being sucked out of me be the world, working has roboted me
Made me just another person, part of society
I just want to be me, not nothing at all
Why can't I get excited, my eyes feel grey
Everything I want doesnt care, there's nothing there, as if I don't even exist
Like my Inexistent Man, I'll never find it
Never feel good
Never be anything
I used to be everything, have everything, a simple Butterfly being free
Wait, someone just told me I'm depressed, yeah I guess that's possible
Alright, sure, what the hell
It doesn't matter anyway
~The Great Pretender~
I pretend, for the world
I silently care for You though
By this, My heart rots as You hold it in Your hands.
I can hear You play a song for Me,
moving Your fingers and hands but Your eyes still on Me.
Emptying words and thoughts from everything inside
of Me as I eagerly watch You love Me with Your eyes.
My dreams are a different Me,
a loving, caring, hopeful Me
A Me that can't get enough of You
Believeing that You are and am all I want
Someday You'll come and make My dremas come true
Wiping all of the world away from Me and make Me whole again
Make Me Yours forever again
*Regina French 11/16/04 I'll try to make time for You, My love. Chris.
~Oath of Truth~
The only truth I know is the one You tell Me.
You always tell Me how much You love Me
You're mine, I have You to hold, love, cherish and adore.
That there is what I know.
I feel You when You're not even touching Me
I hear You when You're not talking
I see You when You're not here.
The truth is that You're a part of Me
A leg I couldn't walk without
A finger I couldn't write this poem with
An eye I couldn't see You with again.
I guess it is You who makes Me special
Your truth makes Me whole.
*Regina French 11/17/04 Only Chris' love.
My fearless leader
Knight in shining armor
Pillar of strength
I know I hurt You
Yet You forgive Me all the same.
Safety come from Your lips
I think the butterflies are back
The dark is darker with out You whispering in it
The moon is brighter and fuller with You under its stars
The wind beneath My wings
Last fish in the sea for Me.
Touching Myself for You
Preparing Myself for Your wishes
Your wish is My command
As long as You're My man.
*Regina 9/3/04 Chris: Everything i could ever need or want, is you.
I love Your name,
It makes Me giggle.
That's important to Me.
I'm stuck on You,
Like a sticker to a mirror.
I am angry though
I know You want Me, You tell Me
I cry because I love You
But...where are You
Just talk ok
About this and that
Funny how bi-polar works
I want to be wrapped around Your hug
But I want to rip My skin off
Maybe I'll leave this unfinished
So I don't say things I don't mean.
*Regina 11/30/04 I hate when you say "Well..."
~Her, part II~
I can move on now.
None of them are
Her & Her & Her
But not Me.
Now my heart can be
Icy winter has finally come over the
Blossomed immortal flower.
But not so close.
Shock is in My veins,
How can I not love My love?
I dont know...
She loves another.
Clearing the past,
A kiss good-bye.
*Regina 12/3/04 Good-night, Gabby.
~The Lost Doll's Tale~
Seeing You kills Me cause I want You to want Me. But You don't want Me. I think You see Me as a toy, fiddle with Me all You want, just to completly ignore Me later. But I'm sick of it! I'll tell You now, child, I like You-though I'm not sure why, there's a mystery about You. Curiousity killed the cat. Maybe it's better this way, then, you don't care & I'm not too hurt...yet. Or maybe You're You & I couldn't feel right in you world. Those people would tear Me apart like a lion to a gazel. It kills Me that one little piece of the day, You doll Me; the next day You treat Me like a disease, even if You look at Me, You might die from it. I Or maybe it's not Your fault, maybe those people make You think that it's wrong if You want me back. Fine, fake it, see where that gets You, I wish I could wait, but honestly, I don't think I want to. Shaking in anger inside, I see You everyday & You see right through Me, like a bear & water. Either way: I still look up to You, still dream of You but still it doens't matter.
*Regina 12/6/04 Good-bye, Nikki.